i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
