R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
