im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
