went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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