Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
