ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
