All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
