They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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