How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize