Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
