you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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