you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
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I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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