my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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