Dual....:-)
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
