just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
