His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
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