Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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