that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
