so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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