After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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