I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
