I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
