I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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