THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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