It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it was like eating out sand paper
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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