Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
