I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
