pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize