I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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