I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
