...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
