No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
