good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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