Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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