i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
