Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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