I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I touched a dick in church today
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