Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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