I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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