words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
