YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Randomize
