so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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