Joe is yelling at the trees again.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
