i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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