We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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