wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
