for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
