you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
