I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
