is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
