tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
