Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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