I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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