Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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