I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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