There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
