Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
