This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
