i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
