She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
