so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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