i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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