We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
