those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize