It's Friday. Sex?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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